Monday, April 21, 2014

Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

Director – Greg Mclean
Writers – 
Greg Mclean, Aaron Sterns
Production Company – Duo Art Productions, Emu Creek Pictures
Stars – John Jarratt, Ryan Corr

I really love the original Wolf Creek, it’s simple, and its sweaty hand inducing.  You’re drawn into the main characters lives before anything happens, you party and laugh with them.  I can still see them clearly in my brain, because I actually liked them. Soon Mick rolls around  and your enticed with his witty behavior, though thoroughly put-off too.  Mick manages to make everyone a little uncomfortable, but then he reels them back in with his quirky personality.  Is he joking, is he serious?  You can’t piss him off, I mean you need his help…and then it all happens once everyone settles in.  That’s the beauty of Wolf Creek, simple and to the point.

What Wolf Creek 2 does, is nothing like the original.  Have you ever watched a monster movie, and they show the monster so much that it no longer is scary to you?  I used to get super angry when I would only get glimpses into certain portions of a movie, crazy angry if I only got to see two seconds of the scary creature.  Now, here I am wishing that for Wolf Creek 2, they would have given Mick a little less screen time.  He became a messy caricature of his former self – a one liner machine.  He's now a messy serial killer, I honestly didn’t know what his motivations where anymore – until of course he gives an Australian pop-quiz to one of his victims - seriously dude?


Wolf Creek 2 is full of 3 things – one liners, car chases, and people you don’t care about.  I was entertained for all of 15 minutes to be honest, and those were the first 15.  Two bored cops pull Mick over, and what ensued drew me right in.  The two cops are given about 75 outs not to give Mick a ticket.  I really enjoyed how Mick was keeping his serial killers ways at bay, he had to be thoroughly pushed before he gave in – and give in he does.  It was a nice opening and there are pig/cop puns galore, some of them very funny.  I should have known though, the jokes and one liners flowed like a waterfall from here on out.

Mick meets up with some German backpackers, conveniently of course, they’re hitchhiking across the outback.  You spend a little time with the couple before Mick makes his appearance.  The scenes between Mick and this couple made me so angry!  The female backpacker is completely useless.  At least in the last movie the females were put through some hell before they became unable to function.  Here the girl sits and watches Mick man handle her man.  I think I timed it and she had about 15 minutes for a head start on Mick, I think she was entranced though – since they happen to show Mick cutting off her boyfriend’s penis and waving it around in the air with his hand.  The only thing I really have to say is “really?”  Also, why the hell is Mick butchering her man in the middle of the dessert – is he a cannibal now??

Once she finally does break away, she can’t even manage a few words to help the poor sucker out who picks her up.  Her screams are annoying and her lack of normal human function is disappointing.  It’s even more disappointing that the main character, Paul, joins the movie at like 40 minutes in.  You know absolutely nothing about him except that he’s nice enough to stop and try to help a flailing traveler, from here on out its Paul and Micks prowess for one-liners.

Paul manages plenty escapes throughout the movie, but at an hour and forty seven minutes you do get a little meat, kangaroo meat to be exact.  I actually covered my mouth to prevent myself from laughing out loud during a chase scene that involves a herd of Kangaroo crossing the road at a not so perfect time.  I mean, my 2 year old was napping next door – and I really was LAUGHING OUT LOUD..  I am embarrassed that this is part of the movie, this is not supposed to be a comedy.  It’s just not what I expected or wanted.  I want something with the tones of the original dammit.

It only gets worse from here and the music is lousy.  Only so many times can I take the sort of juxtaposition of the scene versus the music.  I love a hardcore horror scene with music that seems it’s opposite sometimes, but every damn kill scene should not be paired up this my humble opinion.

Don’t even get me started on the Hostel scene and Micks underground cave lair.  Seriously did I miss something?  What happened to his beat down farm full of old car parts, what is up with the cave system filled with a hundred bodies?  I don’t get it, and I don’t like it.  I know Mick is nuts, and sick, and disturbed – but this seemed really out there.  Don’t even get me started on Zombie girl, or the 40 minute bonding scene shared between Paul and Mick.

But what I really don’t want you to get me started on is the ending.  I was already angry about the main female character not being able to speak a single freaking word to help her situation – but you’re also left with Paul, who ends up a permanent resident in a mental home.

Dog Turds!  I’m really only a little bit angry because I think so fondly of the first movie.  Mick is still sick as hell, and I would die if I ever ran into him - because he really does scare me.  I’m all in for Wolf Creek 3, ditch the thousand one liner’s, get back to basics – Mick is still one crazy Aussie - he doesn’t need some Hostel cave lair to be scary.

So in the end this was a big flop for me.  I wanted a more serious emphasis, and though the violence and gore are very very serious, the underlying tone is not.  I won’t give up on Mick though, he’s just too damn cool.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Afflicted (2013)

Director – Derek Lee, Clif Prowse
Writers – 
Derek Lee, Clif Prowse
Production Company – Automatik Entertainment, IM Global, Telefilm Canada
Stars – Derek Lee, Clif Prowse

I think anybody who writes, directs, and stars in their own movie is pretty fantastic.  I thought Derek Lee and Clif Prowse were quirky, passionate, and super energetic.  They’re pumped in this flick, and it spilled over to me, which makes me sad that I got really bored about a quarter of the way through.


Derek receives some bad news health wise (AVM - Arteriovenous Malformation!) and he and his best friend Clif are off to see the world, I think it’s a great excuse.  Derek exudes this excitement and passion which really made me love him in like 5 minutes.  Clif, Derek’s best friend, is also super passionate about helping his friend in the geekiest of ways - blogging the hell out of it. 

So by blogging their journey, we of course have the built in excuse of having footage – Clif is no slacker, he’s a pro, so there’s no horrible camera work here.  Slick shots and cool energetic music make up the first part of this movie, all shot in a more documentary type style.

So enter moment where Derek happens to be infected/afflicted with something that starts taking a horrible effect on him.  Derek starts sleeping the days away and Clif is naturally concerned that Derek’s AVM is the culprit.  Unfortunately Clif can’t talk Derek into seeing a doctor at any point, and soon Derek is showing more peculiar changes like superhuman strength and speed..did I mention he’s not fond of sunlight anymore?   This is where I got really, really, really bored. I don’t need tons of footage showing off Derek’s new talents, give me a couple of minutes and we’re golden.

Something that soon becomes apparent to the two is that Derek needs to consume blood to fend off all the nasty’s he experiences.  I did like how they both worked their  way through what type of blood worked for him, but seriously once you’ve both come to the conclusion that your a vampire it’s time to reach out for some professional help.  It’s funny because in the movie Contracted I completely defended Samantha’s reasons for not reaching out for help more seriously – but here it made me a little angry.  This is straight up supernatural shit!!  Call the Today show for heaven’s sake, they’ll protect you since you’re new superhuman strengths will surely make you a billionaire…or perhaps a science experiment – guess I should be realistic.

I also forgot to mention, lots of this is finding its way on to the pairs travel blog, which I kind of dug.  I like the twist of blog followers watching some of the craziness from afar, unable to physically assist.  Eventually Derek finds himself alone, and on a mission to go back to the source of his issues – his one stand.  He manages to hunt the lady down, and this is where it picked back up for me…just hate that the middle bored me to tears.

Derek meets with Audrey and she gives him the scoop on what he is and what he’ll need to do in order to survive, let’s just say he’s not happy about it.  She explains to him something that I really loved – and wish a whole sort of love horror story could be made out of it.  She explains to him that she didn’t really want to turn him because he was some asshole or criminal, he was a mercy kill.  She thought he was dying, and that she was being kind…Ioved this part of the story.  I would like a movie based around this, much better then us watching Derek run fast and jump high for 40 minutes.

So what am I saying - Something was missing for me.  I loved the two main characters, loved the overall energy, just hated where that energy was spent!  I think I’ll be watching out for the two filmmakers, though I wasn’t quite knocked off my feet with the movie overall – their intense energy is infectious!  It’s found footage with a twist of lemon – I just wanted lime.

I have to give this one a 5 - Sorry Derek and Clif!!